I've wanted to upload a blog post like this for some time. The desire to write this post intensified following personal, first-hand experience of mental health deterioration, which has been met by diminishing responses and harsh judgement versus the support and encouragement that was actually required. Despite the numerous 'mental health awareness days' and now even 'mental health awareness weeks' dotted around the annual calendar and a few significant, successful mental health campaigns, there is still so much misunderstanding and ignorance in our society when it comes to understanding and/or supporting those of us with mental health issues. I am sick to death of mental health being regarded as less important than physical health. The brain is one of the most important organs in our body, yet most of us neglect it. Taking time off for a 'mental health day' is not the same as taking time off sick because you have the flu or have a stomach virus. Why? Even someone like myself who struggles with 'Generalised Anxiety Disorder' and who gets excruciating stomach pain, nausea and feverish symptoms as a result of my anxiety would still feel guilty taking time off of Uni, unless, of course, the origin of those symptoms belonged to some form of stomach virus or 24 hour sickness bug (i.e. physical illness/cause). I'd feel much more comfortable looking after myself because of the latter reason, purely because physical health is more clearly understood and treated with far more empathy than mental health.
I wanted other individual's experiences to feature in this post, instead of making this post central to me and my personal mental health experience. Participating individuals briefly describe some of the judgement and misconceptions they have had to deal with in their daily lives. They also provide their honest and raw experiences with mental health and what they personally believe would help them feel more supported by others. A few lovely, courageous people have provided their responses below, so please do be respectful and sensitive when reading their experiences. It's still not easy to be honest about your mental health, because even though mental health awareness has improved in recent years, there is still significant progress to be made. I hope that the accounts below provide comfort to those of you suffering with a mental health issue and if you do not have a mental health issue yourself, I hope this post sheds some light on what it can really be like for someone suffering.
** Please note that everyone featured has given permission for their Twitter username to feature in this post. If 'Anonymous' appears, this individual requested for their personal identity to be hidden.**
What have people said about your mental health that is negative or inaccurate? Have they acted a certain way that is unhelpful?
"One of my tutors constantly belittles me. One of my triggers is travelling through Manchester City Center to get to campus and she thinks me studying at home 'won't help myself' yet whenever I do I feel 100% better. I also have a hard time remembering things (side effect) and she constantly picks at me for getting the smallest thing wrong and makes me feel stupid for it. Another tutor dismissed my fear of travelling to London for a trip after the terror attack level was raised by saying "I'm 99% sure it won't happen" yet he knows I was in the attack and how it has affected me. They also never check if I'm okay after talking about terrorism or if the Manchester attack gets brought up in class. -" @tearsleftocry (Twitter)
"I've once been told that my anxieties and overthinking are just in my head and when I told my teacher I was stressed about my exams, they said it was only normal and that it'll all be fine regardless and they never asked me again. I felt as if it was inconvenient for them to be dealing with me?" - Anonymous
"When I tell someone that I take lithium they are usually taken aback because it has a bad reputation, when in reality it is an amazing drug that has worked wonders for me, it just needs to be monitored. You can't really have a negative opinion on something when you aren't fully educated about it. Also when people use bipolar/depressed/manic/anxious as adjectives when they clearly aren't any of those things. It can be triggering for people who do suffer with those illnesses." - @strawbs267 (Twitter)
"Luckily I haven't had a lot of very negative experiences with people, in regards to my struggle with mental health. The people I have chosen to confide in have often been most helpful and supportive. However, I do feel that within my specific culture, mental health is considered to be this 'non-existent' concept. Many friends of the same culture have often laughed when I shared my experience with them & told me to 'grow a pair and move on'. People often don't take it seriously and consider it to be a myth that can just be shaken off or brushed away. I think it would be wonderful to reduce this particular sense of ignorance, perhaps from lack of knowledge on the illness. Educating in a way that reaches more cultures and societies that are perhaps not as exposed or aware of the cause and effects of mental health. Therefore, I really do feel that technology & social media hold a significant power towards this. In a generation now where a lot of the world have access to some form of social site, it can be actively used in a positive way as a platform to share & gain realisation in subjects such as mental health, that have been considered a taboo for much too long." - Anonymous
"I mainly get negative comments about my health anxiety and social anxiety. A lot of people think health anxiety or 'hypochondriasis' as it's known, are people who are simply wasting doctors time, being dramatic etc. This is the one mental health issues that I have that I try to avoid talking about because all I get back from people is "that's drama" or "you do realise you're wasting doctors time" or "stop making things up". It's extremely difficult to hear people say those words to me, especially when they call me a drama queen as I'm not dramatic, it's my mental health that's creating it. I'd rather not have it and it just dampens my mood further and makes me reluctant to go out of my home fearful that if I have to deal with an attack or if someone mentions it they will think I'm just drama and get a wrong impression of me and I'm also extremely afraid of people's opinions or making myself look like a fool too which rolls into my social anxiety and prolongs all of my anxious feelings." -@tylerlhiggy (Twitter)
"They said it was easy to control my own mind and how it thinks if I just tried hard enough. They didn't even consider emphasizing and imagining what I'm going through, it isn't just controlling my mind - it's my mind taking over no matter what I want or how I want to feel like. As much as a therapist can help you adjust to everyday life while struggling with your mental illnesses, it doesn't make them go away." - Anonymous
"I think the most common thing that people (friends, family) have said about my mental health issues is that it's not real. That I am simply overdramatizing situations and need to grow up. My parents would say that it's only the stress from Uni, the fear of what might come in the future, not "real health problems". In general, people close to me haven't shown much support except for my doctor and a few professors, who would come up to me after class to show me their supportive means. I learned to hide my anxiety and panic attacks from my parents since they witnessed one panic attack and decided to attack me even more while screaming at me for not being able to respond properly, only making the situation worse. Putting someone, who is suffering from a panic attack or severe anxiety, under pressure to respond, even if it's just a small text message, only makes the anxiety go up and your body automatically shuts down. Instead of pushing you to do something that only triggers your anxiety, let them breathe and do it in their own pace. People don't seem to understand that sometimes we just can't." - Anonymous
What would you like people to know about your actual experience with mental health i.e. symptoms, thoughts, daily/weekly struggles?
"I can't push myself too much with socialising and that isn't me being rude, it's just that I will literally explode if I am around too many people in a short space of time. Sometimes I have to remove myself from situations and get some air - again not being rude. I have to take tablets every evening which can be annoying if I'm out and about and I usually do it in a subtle way to avoid anyone staring. I like to think of my issues as quirks that I just have to deal with and I think it's good for other people to look at them in that way too - to be aware that sometimes a panic attack/a low mood might occur but to know that it will pass eventually and it doesn't define who I am." - @strawbs267 (Twitter)
"That it's not easy. Some days can be great but others can be literal hell, just because I seem happy one week doesn't mean I have 'got better'. I'm not putting anything on or exaggerating my symptoms, if it's more visible it's a cry for help NOT attention. My daily/weekly struggles are very different to the mental health you would have normally dealt with, so the smallest of things can trigger me or push me over the edge." - @tearsleftocry (Twitter)
"I want people to know that we cannot control our mental health. For me, I think I've been anxious my whole life even as a baby but I've only ever noticed the actual anxiety when I graduated from high school. My thoughts would start running and never stop, my heart beat would randomly increase and a lump form in my throat as if somebody was choking me. I'd get all shaky and everything around me would be too much to handle. Usually I'd have trouble with my stomach as well which would only increase the anxiety, start trouble with eating patterns and affect my mood in the long run. It's been three years since those symptoms first started showing up and it would be easy to say that every day is a struggle, but it's not to be honest. Some days are fine, some days are not fine at all. Every day is different. Nevertheless, I learned to deal with it better than I did in the last years. A huge part of the anxiety which leads to panic attacks and even depression is the feeling of not being able to have control over your own life. You're living a life that you think, is not your own because it is dominated by the constant struggles that make it hard for you to even obtain a normal social life. Your own family doesn't understand or doesn't want to understand, friends leave because they're sick of waiting and most doctor's I've been to just don't know what to tell you. You're pretty much alone with your struggles most of the time because society still doesn't see mental health issues as real issues. Just because someone looks happy and seems to be living the perfect life, it doesn't mean that they're not struggling with their mental health. Just because I can go to uni and to work, doesn't mean that I haven't just been crying my eyes out for three hours straight and barely slept the night before because of all the panic attacks and depressing thoughts that have been running through my mind. We're humans and we're masters in hiding what's really going on inside of us. If I don't want somebody to know what's going on inside of me in that very moment because I know that that person would not understand my mental health issues, I'm a pro at hiding them. And I'm sure most of us are, because we have to. Otherwise, we wouldn't be accepted in society. Everybody has different struggles even though they might suffer from the same mental health issues. For me, I can't go to the movies without freaking out because of all the people in the theatre, the darkness and the constant feeling of fear. I don't know what I am afraid of, it is just there. Calling people on the phone is practically unbearable. Driving a car? I'd start sweating and panting, shaking like crazy, not being able to calm down my thoughts. Already the thought of being behind a car again, makes me start to get anxious. I never had an accident, a bad experience in a theatre or on the phone, yet my body reacts like that. It's the little things that make it hard for us to go through a normal day because it's not something we chose, but something that simply happens." - Anonymous
"It's very easy to just throw everyone going through something under an umbrella & assume they're all identical in their struggles. This is simply not true, my experience with depression will be entirely different to that of another person. Sure, there are some common factors and symptoms that allow for a basis to relate on & help one another to overcome. But we do not ask to be thrown into a mental struggle and we don't want to have to live with it on a daily basis. But it happens & sometimes you just have to let it be, take it a day at a time and work to overcome it. So many of my days, for the past 2 years, have been spent in tears and self hatred. Days I can't take back, but you can't dwell on things that aren't tangible. Therefore, we can only look forward in a hopeful & positive light. It's what keeps us going & allows us to overcome everything that hinders us from being ourselves. Through my own experience & the witnessing of others, I know for sure how real the pain of mental health is. But I also know that every single person going through something can overcome & triumph and that's what makes human beings so special. We just have to be kinder to ourselves and left life run its course, everything will turn out in the end." - Anonymous
"I've been diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 disorder, generalised anxiety, social anxiety, health anxiety, psychotic disorder and OCD. I've been diagnosed with bipolar, psychotic disorder and generalised and social anxiety for 8 years and only recently diagnosed with health anxiety and OCD in the last year. I think many people these days do deal with some sort of mental health issue, but each individual is different and how they try to deal with it. When I was first diagnosed I was terrified of even saying I was diagnosed with an actual mental health disorder because of the stigma that was attached to it. In high school I always suffered from panic attacks and people started to catch on to what was happening to me (even before I knew what was happening to myself) and they severely bullied me and made rumours about how I tried to jump off of a train track when I went shopping one day etc. and it just got that bad that we had to take me out of school and for me to lose a ton of friends AND to be diagnosed with a mental health condition only worsened my loneliness and so for many years I'd just stay in and hibernate and if I ever went anywhere it was with my mam but even sometimes my anxiety (generalised and social) would even stop me doing that and so I felt trapped. It's only as I've gotten older and having to live with it day in and day out that I learn and find ways to cope with it. As I said some days are a massive struggle where I just stay in bed all day and cry and sleep and cry and sleep. I constantly have racing thoughts which can very quickly change to extremely depressive state. I’m always 100mph in my brain and it’s constantly overthinking everything. My mam has to keep my bank account card because my bipolar can make me want to spend impulsively (recently I got myself in so much debt so she has to have it now). She also has to hide any tablets or medications because my moods can change very fast to where I want to kill myself by OD (something I’ve tried to do 3 times in the past and ended up in hospital and then sectioned on the 3rd time) Sometimes it can change fast or sometimes it can last days, months or years. My anxiety is always constantly there whether it’s social , general or health I never get a break from anxiety it’s literally my worst enemy I feel dizzy all the time, constant migraines, feeling of detachment and derealization and if I’m not worrying about socialising then I’m worry about when I’m going to die, how I’m going to die (this is all down to my health anxiety) however I do find listening to positive upbeat music helps and also I try to workout even though some days I may not be able to because my mind and body are just that exhausted and I also find that reading a CBT self help book helps me! It’s always going to be there but It’s all about finding a way that works for you and keep staying strong." - @tylerlhiggy (Twitter)
"Over analysing situations definitely, comparing myself to others, believing myself to be very negative around people meaning I have to cut myself off because of it, lack of eating and sleeping, not being able to recognise myself and zoning out of situations and not knowing what is reality and what I've made up in my head." - Anonymous
What response would you find helpful from others when you're struggling? What should they know?
"I think the response I'd like to get from people is just their time to listen and to realise how people with mental health issues aren't just being drama queens or being selfish or feeling sorry for themselves. I think it's important for people who have mental health issues to not feel alone or feel afraid to speak to someone. Maybe a simple positive quote on someone's tweet or insta could help or knowing you're there to talk." - @tylerlhiggy (Twitter)
"I'm currently talking to my college counsellor and she is actually really helpful, I just wish she could offer me a bit more advice and solutions if she could. Recommendations of books or films of some kind which I could relate to would be good I think, also more in-depth lessons in colleges and schools and to not believe that being stressed is just 'normal'. - Anonymous
"It's always nice to know that someone else understands you and what you might be going through. It's common to be misjudged & I think we are all guilty of doing it at some point in our lives. But it's a mistake to learn from and to better the way we treat one another as a society. We all have more in common than we like to admit & it would be so much better if everyone were to see the common ground we do have. It would diminish any misconceptions and allow us all to be in a more open and inclusive state. We are often afraid to share parts of ourselves with others because it makes us vulnerable. But from recently being more honest about myself, I have found that vulnerability isn't a bad thing at all, it doesn't make us weaker in any way. If anything, it makes us strong, building courage and nobility with ourselves and the ones we care about most. It's a 'weight off of your shoulders' the moment you voice your struggles with mental health out loud. A problem shared is a problem halved, not in sense of burdening another with your pain. But instead creating a network of support & ease for them in turn to confide in you about themselves, their trials may be more similar to yours than you think. We all have a struggle & we're all in the same world together, so it's never too late to start being honest about it." - Anonymous
"Just ‘I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, let me know if there’s anything I can do’ is appreciated. Also encouragement that it will pass - even if I don’t think it will - because it always does!" - @strawbs267 (Twitter)
"Honestly, just acceptance would already be enough. If I knew that I could go to my parents or my friends or someone I love without being judged, that would be a huge success. Knowing that even if I have a bad day, I will not get kicked out of University for missing a school day or lose my job for being late would be a great relief too but that's never going to happen. This world simply needs to show each other more love, support and acceptance in order for everyone to live a happy life." - Anonymous
"Just be there physically. I don't need you asking me if I'm fine every 2 seconds of if I want any water. It helps to just stay quiet but to show you're present and you're there if anything (even) worse happens. It helps if you put one hand on my shoulder or just basically make sure I'm aware that you're around. It helps to calm someone in a non-verbal way. Talking just makes me, personally, cry even more." - Anonymous
"Do your research. Understand how difficult it is for people having to deal with these battles everyday. Allow me to feel how I do without feeling bad for it or feeling like a failure; I can't control how I feel so I shouldn't have to put myself down for something I can't control. Understand that it's not something that goes away after a few months, it can take years to go away if not stay with you forever. And lastly: I'm not being lazy, take a second to picture yourself in my situation and mind, then understand how a normal day to you is a battle for me." - @tearsleftocry (Twitter)
Useful Support Contacts if yourself or anyone you know is currently struggling with mental health (UK based):
MIND (Charity) Have a Whole List of Mental Health Helplines (CLICK HERE)
Some of which are listed here:
Anxiety UK | 03444 775 774 (Infoline, available Mon-Fri, 9:30am-5:30pm) | 07537 416 905 (Text Service) (Help support individuals with a range of anxiety issues i.e. OCD, Panic Attacks/Panic Disorder, Health Anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)/Social Phobia, Stress and more)
Beat (Beat Eating Disorders) | 0808 801 0677 (Helpline, open daily 3pm-10pm) | 0808 801 0711 (Youthline, open daily 3pm-10pm) | 0808 801 0811 (Studentline)
Bipolar UK | 020 7931 6480 (Bipolar UK are a charity that specifically provide support and information to individuals struggling with Bipolar disorder as well as their friends and family.)
CALM | The Campaign Against Living Miserably (Aimed at men between the ages of 17 and 35)
Samaritans | 116 123 (freephone) | jo@samaritans.org (A safe place for individuals to talk about any issue - note: you do not have to be suicidal to call or contact the Samaritans)
Papyrus HOPEline | 0800 068 4141 (Information and relevant support for individuals under the age of 35 specifically struggling with suicidal feelings and self-injury)
Take care of yourselves,
Emma x
(P.S. You'll get through this, better days are on their way!)
What have people said about your mental health that is negative or inaccurate? Have they acted a certain way that is unhelpful?
"One of my tutors constantly belittles me. One of my triggers is travelling through Manchester City Center to get to campus and she thinks me studying at home 'won't help myself' yet whenever I do I feel 100% better. I also have a hard time remembering things (side effect) and she constantly picks at me for getting the smallest thing wrong and makes me feel stupid for it. Another tutor dismissed my fear of travelling to London for a trip after the terror attack level was raised by saying "I'm 99% sure it won't happen" yet he knows I was in the attack and how it has affected me. They also never check if I'm okay after talking about terrorism or if the Manchester attack gets brought up in class. -" @tearsleftocry (Twitter)
"I've once been told that my anxieties and overthinking are just in my head and when I told my teacher I was stressed about my exams, they said it was only normal and that it'll all be fine regardless and they never asked me again. I felt as if it was inconvenient for them to be dealing with me?" - Anonymous
"When I tell someone that I take lithium they are usually taken aback because it has a bad reputation, when in reality it is an amazing drug that has worked wonders for me, it just needs to be monitored. You can't really have a negative opinion on something when you aren't fully educated about it. Also when people use bipolar/depressed/manic/anxious as adjectives when they clearly aren't any of those things. It can be triggering for people who do suffer with those illnesses." - @strawbs267 (Twitter)
"Luckily I haven't had a lot of very negative experiences with people, in regards to my struggle with mental health. The people I have chosen to confide in have often been most helpful and supportive. However, I do feel that within my specific culture, mental health is considered to be this 'non-existent' concept. Many friends of the same culture have often laughed when I shared my experience with them & told me to 'grow a pair and move on'. People often don't take it seriously and consider it to be a myth that can just be shaken off or brushed away. I think it would be wonderful to reduce this particular sense of ignorance, perhaps from lack of knowledge on the illness. Educating in a way that reaches more cultures and societies that are perhaps not as exposed or aware of the cause and effects of mental health. Therefore, I really do feel that technology & social media hold a significant power towards this. In a generation now where a lot of the world have access to some form of social site, it can be actively used in a positive way as a platform to share & gain realisation in subjects such as mental health, that have been considered a taboo for much too long." - Anonymous
"I mainly get negative comments about my health anxiety and social anxiety. A lot of people think health anxiety or 'hypochondriasis' as it's known, are people who are simply wasting doctors time, being dramatic etc. This is the one mental health issues that I have that I try to avoid talking about because all I get back from people is "that's drama" or "you do realise you're wasting doctors time" or "stop making things up". It's extremely difficult to hear people say those words to me, especially when they call me a drama queen as I'm not dramatic, it's my mental health that's creating it. I'd rather not have it and it just dampens my mood further and makes me reluctant to go out of my home fearful that if I have to deal with an attack or if someone mentions it they will think I'm just drama and get a wrong impression of me and I'm also extremely afraid of people's opinions or making myself look like a fool too which rolls into my social anxiety and prolongs all of my anxious feelings." -@tylerlhiggy (Twitter)
"They said it was easy to control my own mind and how it thinks if I just tried hard enough. They didn't even consider emphasizing and imagining what I'm going through, it isn't just controlling my mind - it's my mind taking over no matter what I want or how I want to feel like. As much as a therapist can help you adjust to everyday life while struggling with your mental illnesses, it doesn't make them go away." - Anonymous
"I think the most common thing that people (friends, family) have said about my mental health issues is that it's not real. That I am simply overdramatizing situations and need to grow up. My parents would say that it's only the stress from Uni, the fear of what might come in the future, not "real health problems". In general, people close to me haven't shown much support except for my doctor and a few professors, who would come up to me after class to show me their supportive means. I learned to hide my anxiety and panic attacks from my parents since they witnessed one panic attack and decided to attack me even more while screaming at me for not being able to respond properly, only making the situation worse. Putting someone, who is suffering from a panic attack or severe anxiety, under pressure to respond, even if it's just a small text message, only makes the anxiety go up and your body automatically shuts down. Instead of pushing you to do something that only triggers your anxiety, let them breathe and do it in their own pace. People don't seem to understand that sometimes we just can't." - Anonymous
What would you like people to know about your actual experience with mental health i.e. symptoms, thoughts, daily/weekly struggles?
"I can't push myself too much with socialising and that isn't me being rude, it's just that I will literally explode if I am around too many people in a short space of time. Sometimes I have to remove myself from situations and get some air - again not being rude. I have to take tablets every evening which can be annoying if I'm out and about and I usually do it in a subtle way to avoid anyone staring. I like to think of my issues as quirks that I just have to deal with and I think it's good for other people to look at them in that way too - to be aware that sometimes a panic attack/a low mood might occur but to know that it will pass eventually and it doesn't define who I am." - @strawbs267 (Twitter)
"That it's not easy. Some days can be great but others can be literal hell, just because I seem happy one week doesn't mean I have 'got better'. I'm not putting anything on or exaggerating my symptoms, if it's more visible it's a cry for help NOT attention. My daily/weekly struggles are very different to the mental health you would have normally dealt with, so the smallest of things can trigger me or push me over the edge." - @tearsleftocry (Twitter)
"I want people to know that we cannot control our mental health. For me, I think I've been anxious my whole life even as a baby but I've only ever noticed the actual anxiety when I graduated from high school. My thoughts would start running and never stop, my heart beat would randomly increase and a lump form in my throat as if somebody was choking me. I'd get all shaky and everything around me would be too much to handle. Usually I'd have trouble with my stomach as well which would only increase the anxiety, start trouble with eating patterns and affect my mood in the long run. It's been three years since those symptoms first started showing up and it would be easy to say that every day is a struggle, but it's not to be honest. Some days are fine, some days are not fine at all. Every day is different. Nevertheless, I learned to deal with it better than I did in the last years. A huge part of the anxiety which leads to panic attacks and even depression is the feeling of not being able to have control over your own life. You're living a life that you think, is not your own because it is dominated by the constant struggles that make it hard for you to even obtain a normal social life. Your own family doesn't understand or doesn't want to understand, friends leave because they're sick of waiting and most doctor's I've been to just don't know what to tell you. You're pretty much alone with your struggles most of the time because society still doesn't see mental health issues as real issues. Just because someone looks happy and seems to be living the perfect life, it doesn't mean that they're not struggling with their mental health. Just because I can go to uni and to work, doesn't mean that I haven't just been crying my eyes out for three hours straight and barely slept the night before because of all the panic attacks and depressing thoughts that have been running through my mind. We're humans and we're masters in hiding what's really going on inside of us. If I don't want somebody to know what's going on inside of me in that very moment because I know that that person would not understand my mental health issues, I'm a pro at hiding them. And I'm sure most of us are, because we have to. Otherwise, we wouldn't be accepted in society. Everybody has different struggles even though they might suffer from the same mental health issues. For me, I can't go to the movies without freaking out because of all the people in the theatre, the darkness and the constant feeling of fear. I don't know what I am afraid of, it is just there. Calling people on the phone is practically unbearable. Driving a car? I'd start sweating and panting, shaking like crazy, not being able to calm down my thoughts. Already the thought of being behind a car again, makes me start to get anxious. I never had an accident, a bad experience in a theatre or on the phone, yet my body reacts like that. It's the little things that make it hard for us to go through a normal day because it's not something we chose, but something that simply happens." - Anonymous
"It's very easy to just throw everyone going through something under an umbrella & assume they're all identical in their struggles. This is simply not true, my experience with depression will be entirely different to that of another person. Sure, there are some common factors and symptoms that allow for a basis to relate on & help one another to overcome. But we do not ask to be thrown into a mental struggle and we don't want to have to live with it on a daily basis. But it happens & sometimes you just have to let it be, take it a day at a time and work to overcome it. So many of my days, for the past 2 years, have been spent in tears and self hatred. Days I can't take back, but you can't dwell on things that aren't tangible. Therefore, we can only look forward in a hopeful & positive light. It's what keeps us going & allows us to overcome everything that hinders us from being ourselves. Through my own experience & the witnessing of others, I know for sure how real the pain of mental health is. But I also know that every single person going through something can overcome & triumph and that's what makes human beings so special. We just have to be kinder to ourselves and left life run its course, everything will turn out in the end." - Anonymous
"I've been diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 disorder, generalised anxiety, social anxiety, health anxiety, psychotic disorder and OCD. I've been diagnosed with bipolar, psychotic disorder and generalised and social anxiety for 8 years and only recently diagnosed with health anxiety and OCD in the last year. I think many people these days do deal with some sort of mental health issue, but each individual is different and how they try to deal with it. When I was first diagnosed I was terrified of even saying I was diagnosed with an actual mental health disorder because of the stigma that was attached to it. In high school I always suffered from panic attacks and people started to catch on to what was happening to me (even before I knew what was happening to myself) and they severely bullied me and made rumours about how I tried to jump off of a train track when I went shopping one day etc. and it just got that bad that we had to take me out of school and for me to lose a ton of friends AND to be diagnosed with a mental health condition only worsened my loneliness and so for many years I'd just stay in and hibernate and if I ever went anywhere it was with my mam but even sometimes my anxiety (generalised and social) would even stop me doing that and so I felt trapped. It's only as I've gotten older and having to live with it day in and day out that I learn and find ways to cope with it. As I said some days are a massive struggle where I just stay in bed all day and cry and sleep and cry and sleep. I constantly have racing thoughts which can very quickly change to extremely depressive state. I’m always 100mph in my brain and it’s constantly overthinking everything. My mam has to keep my bank account card because my bipolar can make me want to spend impulsively (recently I got myself in so much debt so she has to have it now). She also has to hide any tablets or medications because my moods can change very fast to where I want to kill myself by OD (something I’ve tried to do 3 times in the past and ended up in hospital and then sectioned on the 3rd time) Sometimes it can change fast or sometimes it can last days, months or years. My anxiety is always constantly there whether it’s social , general or health I never get a break from anxiety it’s literally my worst enemy I feel dizzy all the time, constant migraines, feeling of detachment and derealization and if I’m not worrying about socialising then I’m worry about when I’m going to die, how I’m going to die (this is all down to my health anxiety) however I do find listening to positive upbeat music helps and also I try to workout even though some days I may not be able to because my mind and body are just that exhausted and I also find that reading a CBT self help book helps me! It’s always going to be there but It’s all about finding a way that works for you and keep staying strong." - @tylerlhiggy (Twitter)
"Over analysing situations definitely, comparing myself to others, believing myself to be very negative around people meaning I have to cut myself off because of it, lack of eating and sleeping, not being able to recognise myself and zoning out of situations and not knowing what is reality and what I've made up in my head." - Anonymous
What response would you find helpful from others when you're struggling? What should they know?
"I think the response I'd like to get from people is just their time to listen and to realise how people with mental health issues aren't just being drama queens or being selfish or feeling sorry for themselves. I think it's important for people who have mental health issues to not feel alone or feel afraid to speak to someone. Maybe a simple positive quote on someone's tweet or insta could help or knowing you're there to talk." - @tylerlhiggy (Twitter)
"I'm currently talking to my college counsellor and she is actually really helpful, I just wish she could offer me a bit more advice and solutions if she could. Recommendations of books or films of some kind which I could relate to would be good I think, also more in-depth lessons in colleges and schools and to not believe that being stressed is just 'normal'. - Anonymous
"It's always nice to know that someone else understands you and what you might be going through. It's common to be misjudged & I think we are all guilty of doing it at some point in our lives. But it's a mistake to learn from and to better the way we treat one another as a society. We all have more in common than we like to admit & it would be so much better if everyone were to see the common ground we do have. It would diminish any misconceptions and allow us all to be in a more open and inclusive state. We are often afraid to share parts of ourselves with others because it makes us vulnerable. But from recently being more honest about myself, I have found that vulnerability isn't a bad thing at all, it doesn't make us weaker in any way. If anything, it makes us strong, building courage and nobility with ourselves and the ones we care about most. It's a 'weight off of your shoulders' the moment you voice your struggles with mental health out loud. A problem shared is a problem halved, not in sense of burdening another with your pain. But instead creating a network of support & ease for them in turn to confide in you about themselves, their trials may be more similar to yours than you think. We all have a struggle & we're all in the same world together, so it's never too late to start being honest about it." - Anonymous
"Just ‘I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, let me know if there’s anything I can do’ is appreciated. Also encouragement that it will pass - even if I don’t think it will - because it always does!" - @strawbs267 (Twitter)
"Honestly, just acceptance would already be enough. If I knew that I could go to my parents or my friends or someone I love without being judged, that would be a huge success. Knowing that even if I have a bad day, I will not get kicked out of University for missing a school day or lose my job for being late would be a great relief too but that's never going to happen. This world simply needs to show each other more love, support and acceptance in order for everyone to live a happy life." - Anonymous
"Just be there physically. I don't need you asking me if I'm fine every 2 seconds of if I want any water. It helps to just stay quiet but to show you're present and you're there if anything (even) worse happens. It helps if you put one hand on my shoulder or just basically make sure I'm aware that you're around. It helps to calm someone in a non-verbal way. Talking just makes me, personally, cry even more." - Anonymous
"Do your research. Understand how difficult it is for people having to deal with these battles everyday. Allow me to feel how I do without feeling bad for it or feeling like a failure; I can't control how I feel so I shouldn't have to put myself down for something I can't control. Understand that it's not something that goes away after a few months, it can take years to go away if not stay with you forever. And lastly: I'm not being lazy, take a second to picture yourself in my situation and mind, then understand how a normal day to you is a battle for me." - @tearsleftocry (Twitter)
Useful Support Contacts if yourself or anyone you know is currently struggling with mental health (UK based):
MIND (Charity) Have a Whole List of Mental Health Helplines (CLICK HERE)
Some of which are listed here:
Anxiety UK | 03444 775 774 (Infoline, available Mon-Fri, 9:30am-5:30pm) | 07537 416 905 (Text Service) (Help support individuals with a range of anxiety issues i.e. OCD, Panic Attacks/Panic Disorder, Health Anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)/Social Phobia, Stress and more)
Beat (Beat Eating Disorders) | 0808 801 0677 (Helpline, open daily 3pm-10pm) | 0808 801 0711 (Youthline, open daily 3pm-10pm) | 0808 801 0811 (Studentline)
Bipolar UK | 020 7931 6480 (Bipolar UK are a charity that specifically provide support and information to individuals struggling with Bipolar disorder as well as their friends and family.)
CALM | The Campaign Against Living Miserably (Aimed at men between the ages of 17 and 35)
Samaritans | 116 123 (freephone) | jo@samaritans.org (A safe place for individuals to talk about any issue - note: you do not have to be suicidal to call or contact the Samaritans)
Papyrus HOPEline | 0800 068 4141 (Information and relevant support for individuals under the age of 35 specifically struggling with suicidal feelings and self-injury)
Take care of yourselves,
Emma x
(P.S. You'll get through this, better days are on their way!)
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